Friday, June 25, 2004

More From the Harper Campaign

As I write this, I find myself listening to the news on CBC tonight - only to learn that another one of Harper's genius candidates has put forth their ideas for using the "Notwithstanding clause" for all kinds of legislative garbage that they know damn good and well is otherwise patently illegal and unsustainable.

What's next, we recriminalize homosexuals? Make divorce illegal (or a lot harder to achieve)? Ban contraceptives? It's hard to say just where these nutballs will stop. I've argued that the notwithstanding clause is only useful as a means to abrogate legitimate rights that are otherwise protected under our Constitution. The Conservatives keep making noises that make me shudder - if I read these comments aright, and this article by Stephen Harper, I can only surmise that the Conservatives want to institute a Christian-inspired Theocracy that would throw us back to a social order that existed at the turn of the 19th century. I cannot, and will not sanction a return to a society that criminalizes people for being different - be it for appearances, behaviour or beliefs.

I know there are those that believe that bill C-250 unreasonably restricts their freedom of speech. I'm sorry, there are specific protections in place that bill C-250 introduces; also nothing in Bill C-250 abrogates fundamental freedomes already guaranteed in the constitution. Bill C-250 commands people not to incite violence and hatred towards an identifiable group of the population. Saying that you disagree with the lifestyle of homosexuals is fine - urging a crowd to beat the tar out of someone because they are homosexual is not. Read section 318 and subsequent sections of the Criminal Code of Canada I fail to see where that is an unreasonable curb on "freedom of speech" - any more than it is unreasonable to constrain someone from inciting the abuse of someone because they are Jewish, Chinese, male or female.

I received the following e-mail from another friend of mine this morning. Apparently, they just received a campaign pamphlet from Conservative Candidate Jason Kenney.

Give Me A VOWL Jason!

It would seem that Mr. Kenney views himself as a real "Canadien". I received a glossy brochure in the mail (purportedly written in English) today that not only tells me that Mr. Kenney is "One of 21 Canadiens to watch in the 21st century by the Financial Post Magazine), but goes on to prove that literacy is one of Mr. Kenneys challenges as he claims within his (sole) professional experience "President and Chief Executive Office of the Canadian Taxpayers federation". Shouldn't Federation be capitalized since it IS a proper name... well, after all the education cutbacks, who's going to really notice? At least here he believes that he was in Canada (rather than Canade?). I suppose it IS correct en Quebec to claim to be a Canadien, however, Miriam Webster doesn't acknowledge it, and I won't either - especially since nothing else in the communique is in French.

But wait, it get's better... We can HELP Mr. Kenney. (Oh boy, CAN I?)

We can vote for him, we can volunteer, or we can "Make a tax-receiptable contribution to Stephen's campaign in Calgary Southeast". Stephen's? Perhaps we mean Jason's? And what EXACTLY is a tax-receiptable contribution? Is that the same as a tax-deductable one?

I have also learned something very important about Paul Wells, correspondent for the National Post - he is delusional. In a statement attributed to him, ahem, "Mr. Kenney remains one of his caucas' sharpest minds and tongues.". Oh dear god, SAVE us!

It is also rather noteworthy that we are told on the front cover of the brochure "Demand Better Conservative!" Yes please - I'd like to demand BETTER Conservative as well as BETTER THAN Conservative. Oh, wait, in the small print before the big ol' nasty "C" word, there is the word "vote".

And I TRULY must be tired, because I could have sworn that there was one piece of truth in the brochure, on the fold over panel which proudly proclaimed in 64pt font "Wanking for you in Calgary Southeast". Then, I realized that I had misread the actual word "Working". Who in their right mind uses "Working" in the same sentence as "Kenney" without a negative?


As for the rest of the brochure - typical conservative drivel... Highlights...


...Big words... "Boondoggle". Must be worth at least 50 points in scrabble if I could only keep from eating the tiles... but they look so much like potato chips...

...More truth. "Demand better". I do - that's why I'm not voting for the red, white and blue. OOps - silly me, but the colours are just so... Ra! Ra! USA!

...Our Policies (Abridged Version). Wow! Another big word! And for such a small mind!

..."We will work for lower and fairer taxes for hardworking Canadians and their families". What does this MEAN? Does it mean that you will not work for lower taxes for people you do not DEEM to be hardworking? Or that you will only work for lower taxes for those deadbeats who have a hardworking Canadian in their family?

..."We will ensure our armed forces are properly funded and equipped to do the difficult and dangerous work we ask of them". So, what is the REAL position here - it's GOOD to talk about the Military? People will vote for us if we talk about the military... (come on! Take your foot out of your ass and stand on it for once! What do you REALLY plan for the military? You support it only as much as you plan to ask difficult and dangerous work from it? What are your military objectives? Do you want to play tin soldiers with the neighbourhood kids (Bush et al), what are your thoughts on a peacekeeping force? And how about 'downsizing'?

..."We will increase support for Canadians on fixed incomes"... Wait, earlier you said "Lower taxes" Oh! I get it! You will donate your salary and pension benefits out of the kindness of your own heart to those on fixed incomes.

..."Definition of Marriage. We will ensure that issues like marriage are decided by Parliament, not the courts". Oh! I get it! To get a divorce, you need to go through the courts at this time. NOW, to nullify a marraige, we get to go through Parliament! How FUN!

..."Definition of Marriage..." What do you MEAN the definition of Marriage? Are you planning to try to outlaw same sex couples, or say that they can not be in a partnership with characteristics similar to that of a marriage? What IS your stance on this? All you have said is that you want to have a DIRECT say in the matter, but you are too chicken to state your actual opinion. (actually, this one is rather bothersome).

...We will stand with our allies and international bodies against terrorism and for the basic values of freedom and democracy". Really? HOW exactly - moral support, monetary support, military support?



So many holes to pick, and so little sleep...

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